The flower doesn’t dream of the bee: it blooms and the bee comes.
“Is that new aftershave?”
Alistair [not his real name] wanted a girlfriend.
He was desperate – and, I’m sorry to say, it showed.
The normally casually-dressed, grungy photographer was funny and likeable. He’d a small, close circle of friends.
But he’d become fixated on trying to find a partner.
He’d started going to funky, hipster-ish bars that he’d never have gone to before.
He was dressing “preppy”. I’d never seen him with a jumper over his shoulders. Alistair was more like Chad. He probably liked lacrosse now.
But, for some reason, these changes he’d made didn’t have the impact he wanted. Alistair was still single.
If anything, he’d actually become “more” single. Dates became less frequent and even those that did show-up didn’t arrange a second.
We know why.
His dates could tell it wasn’t really Alistair.
It was some sort of false persona he’d created to try and be what he thought would be more attractive.
Rather than shouting about his own quirks, idiosyncrasies and the unique things that make Alistair Alistair, he’d become “beige”. Like every other single, peacocking man looking for a partner.
They all looked, spoke and acted the same.
They went to the same venues. Competed for the same people.
Rather than establishing why you should be with them, they changed themselves.
And people could tell. And it was a repellent.
Now the £64,000 question:
How many companies approach talent attraction and retention this way?
“What can we do to attract young people to work here?”
“How do we keep our best people?”
Don’t be Alistair.
