
Let’s get this out there early: You’re not funny.
You’re also not attractive or charismatic or trustworthy. And, whilst we’re discussing it, we can also exclude reliable, generous, persuasive or charming from that list.
But this isn’t some sort of character assassination. The same also applies to their antonyms. You’re not evil, unconvincing, unwelcoming, dull or ugly either.
Each of these attributes is not determined by the individual. Instead, they are relational. The other party determines how funny – if at all – we are. This is why comedy is so subjective. Some people can find a particular comedian hilarious, whilst others wonder what the fascination with them is all about. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
This is why comedians put so much effort into working the room at the start of their routine.
It’s a tried-and-tested practice. Introduce themselves to establish identity, before providing a piece of information or statement that establishes a baseline of credibility, then interact with the audience to find commonalities between the comedian and the viewers.
Without this relationship building between the two parties, any jokes or anecdotes won’t work.
Comedian Jimmy Carr once remarked that, “If you make a film and no one goes to see it, it’s still a film. If you compose a song and no one listens, it’s still a song. If you tell a joke and no one laughs, it’s just a sentence.”
This sentence might contain the exact same words, phraseology and delivery. But without the relationship from the other party – the audience – it will never be more than a sentence. It’s the relationship that gives the sentence the power to become the joke.
The same is true of beauty, trust or charisma. Without the third party to validate these, you are unable to be beautiful, trustworthy or charismatic.
Just as a comedian hones their craft, you can increase the likelihood of being considered funny/trustworthy/engaging [insert other adjective here]. You can develop tools, techniques, approaches and responses. You can practise awareness of cues and signals, which allow you to adapt your delivery and work the room more effectively. You can practise how you adapt, based on that feedback data.
Rehearsal. Delivery. Awareness. Feedback. Reflection. Development. Improvement. It’s the cyclical basis for all comedy.
Leadership is also a joke. It’s the followship that makes the leader. A leader without followers is just out for a walk.
Leaders and aspiring leaders, too, can hone their craft. They can practise many of the same approaches used by the comedian – particularly in understanding and connecting with their audience. They can nurture the skills and behaviours that increase the likelihood of those relationships developing.
Rehearsal. Delivery. Awareness. Feedback. Reflection. Development. Improvement. It’s the cyclical basis for all leadership too.
Like comedy, this relationship focus increases attributes of group identity, persuasion and conformity through a psychological process described by Social Influence theory.
When looking at relationships and culture, psychologists will consider how people conform to social norms and adopt the behaviours of others. Social influence theory is a psychological theory that explains how people’s attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours are influenced by external factors – including other people.
The theory has been around since the 1950s, when Herbert Kelman suggested a mechanism to describe individuals’ compliance and conformity withing groups. It has since expanded to include influencing factors, such as rewards, punishment and security, and has been used as a part of motivational theories in leadership and management for over half a century.
Kelman proposed that there were three concepts that described why an individual might be influenced by others:
In a live comedy show, we might recognise ourselves being influenced in one of these manners.
Laughing along with other audience members can be a form of compliance or identification. We might also be rewarded internally. When you laugh, your brain releases endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin – the “happy hormones” that make us feel good and connect us to others.
Watching the same comedy show on-screen might not elicit the same responses. How much more might you laugh at a live event compared to watching a Netflix Special?
(Note: There is a separate debate about remote and virtual leadership, which we’ll save for another discussion)
In a leadership context, we might recognise the importance of role model behaviours in social influence. If individuals want to establish or maintain a relationship, they may be influenced to demonstrate the same behaviours, actions, language and other attributes of the leader. Moreover, other members of the group may also demonstrate the same traits, amplifying their impact across the group.
These attributes continue in the leader’s absence. Just as someone leaving the comedy show might find themselves retelling an anecdote or aping some aspect of the performance, followers are likely to imitate the leader’s behaviours without the leader being present. For better or for worse.
Social Influence theory explains conformity, persuasion, group identity, social networks and compliance – all key areas of leadership and culture, and each relying on the relationship between comedian and audience; leaders and followers.
Leadership is a joke.
Without the relationship with followers, the social influence appreciation, and self-awareness required to hone our craft and nurture that relationship further, it’s just a sentence.
And no one wants to be heckled off stage or perform to an empty room.
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